excuse me.

I like to walk. After really stressful days, I like to run as far away as I can and walk back. I walk to the Walgreens down the street once or twice a week for the little things I always forget. It's therapeutic. 

Running at night is my favorite.  It's so much more peaceful. Also, stranger danger is half the fun. Keep running, I saw a weird shadow. Keep going so they don't get you. 

I don't live in a bad part of town. I actually live in a great part of town. Nights like tonight make me consider moving to daytime, though. 

Three things. I needed three things from Walgreens, so I got my ass up and walked. The walk there was perfect: summer breeze, no one else on the sidewalk, and no random honks from cars driving by.  The walk back was not so great. 

I wasn't listening to music (I was enjoying the night), so I heard a car slow down.  It struck me as odd as I wasn't near a stoplight. 

"Excuse me, do you need a ride? I work at the Marriott." 

Really? Okay, creepy old man with the BMW, I was totally not going to accept a ride from you, but since you work at the Marriott...that changes everything! I laced my fingers through my keys as I told him I was walking on purpose and did not, in fact, need a ride.

He drove off without another word. 

I was on edge the rest of the way home. Every car that passed gave my heart a little jolt. Perhaps I should brave the heat and go during the day from now on...maybe even sleep with my pepper spray on my nightstand.  Stranger danger isn't such an appealing motivational tool anymore. 

expectations

I think part of the reason, okay most of the reason, I have a terrible time at every doctor's office I visit is that I have hope. I have hope that when I walk in, I'll be greeted by a handsome man in some sort of medical profession (my hope is not picky). 

One of my girls has either caught onto this, or she just likes to tease me. The first time I took her to her primary she gushed about his perfect hair for 20 minutes. In walks a lanky old man who tells stories about his grand kids. 

The first time I took her for her psych she did almost the same thing. I didn't buy it this time, although I did have a small speck of optimism in the back of my mind. This time I got an ex-football player looking man who maybe hadn't let go of that time. He included me in the conversation more than he probably should, but it wasn't until he said "I bet when Laura's wet," instead of "I bet when Laura's upset," that I felt it was time to go.  I may have only taken psych in high school, but I know what a Freudian Slip is, sir. 

Maybe I just shouldn't have any expectations. Then I can just just be surprised with every bit of craziness I encounter. Including this incredibly outdated office I'm in right now. 

winner.

In this troubling time of starting over, trying new things is important.  That was my reasoning behind deciding to hang out with a new group of people.  Going out of your comfort zone is essential for a newly single girl.
It was supposed to be a night with decent looking guy and his incredibly hot friends.  The decent one offered to pick me up on his way downtown.  Unbeknownst to me, we were not going to make it downtown.  
As it turns out, his parents house is close to my apartment.  We had a drink in his parents basement as he picked out a movie on demand.  Yes, I was trying to be bold and adventurous, but I still don't enjoying bringing up a subject to make myself even more awkward, like, "aren't we supposed to be meeting up with some sexy bicyclists in the Old Market?"  Instead, I sat there, in this man's parent's basement, and 'watched' one of those terrible spoof movies. 
When the movie was finally over, we left to go to the bar.  We didn't make it to the interstate.  We went a block north to what might be the strangest bar I've even entered.  The owners either couldn't decide on a theme, or thought it would be fun to try everything all at once.  It was called Bogies and it was a sports/karaoke/danceclub bar owned by a middle-aged Chinese woman.  The menu also had an identity crisis.  She couldn't decide whether to serve homemade chinese food or bar food, so she combined them.  The other customers were just as diverse.  There was the country bumpkin group in their cowboy boots and hats with flannel shirts in one corner.  Gathered around the pool/beer pong tables were the bros with their chains and sunglasses.  It even had the skinny girls in ugs and pajama shorts on the dance floor trying to shake their asses like Shakira.  Of course, I couldn't forget the table of very large women, each drinking pop straight from their own personal pitcher with a straw, waiting for their turn to sing Adele and get booed off the stage. 

I had finally worked up the courage to break the uncomfortable silence and ask if anyone was meeting us.  He had an excuse for why each one of them couldn't make it.  Que more awkward silence.  I continued to people watch as I felt him stare at me.  I could tell he was trying to find something to say, but as I had nothing to say, I couldn't help him.  Besides, I was busy watching a cowboy dance to lil Wayne.
Our silence was broken by his ringtone.  His mother was on the other end and even in the karaoke filled bar, I could make out yelling.  I gathered that someone at the bar had seen us and called her.  I also overheard the words "trashy," "little girl,"  and "take her home."  
On the way home, he asked my age.  I figured that was coming.  The bartender didn't I.D. us and his mother must have thought I was under 21 if she ordered him to take me home.  This sort of thing happened to me a lot, but usually in reverse.  People tend to assume I'm older, not younger.  This was not a night I wished to repeat, so I gave a coy, "you can't ask a lady that question" response when he asked my age on the drive home.  I hoped that by not offering my age, it would confirm that I was underage.  
When we pulled up to my apartment I realized that might have been a bad idea.  He awkwardly swooped in for the goodnight kiss while still in the car.  I pretended not to notice and 'fumbled' with my seat belt.  He cleared his throat and mumbled something about calling me some time. I quickly said sure and good night and almost sprinted to my door.  My heart didn't stop racing until I slammed the door shut behind me.  I immediately sunk to the ground in a fit of the giggles. 
I laughed until tears streamed down my face.  I am an awkward person, but I don't think I have ever experienced anything so ridiculous.  My fit stopped as soon as my phone went off.  He texted me.   
"love u hope to see you again soon"
I think I'm going to stay in my comfort zone for a while.  Trying new things is overrated.

creepy cat lady

This morning, my cat helped me pick out my lunch. I didn't get a chance to eat it, but it's the thought that counts. 

I don't understand why something like this is "creepy cat lady-like," but if Dinah were a dog it wouldn't be weird. Double standard!

Why can't cats have play dates at the park? That would be adorable. Why does it make me seem like a weirdo when I tell people my cat licks my nose every morning when my alarm goes off?

The thing is, I may be a creepy cat lady, but I'm happier than I've been in a long time. I love having all this time to myself and my best friend. 

If that makes me a cat lady, so be it. 

:]