no touching.

"Heeeey there, pretty lady.  I need to schedule a follow up."

"What days of the week work best? I have an 8 o'clock next Wednesday."

"8 o'clock in the morning? Oh, lady, I can't do that." 

"Hey, hey, hey...no reaching over my counter. No touching, no touching or I'm going to make you go over to Carla over there." 

"Okay, no touching. Have you had a stroke? I have. You forget things after you have one of those."

This man's awkward attempt at flirting with the receptionist continued with feigned ignorance when she explained the rules of fasting before his next appointment. 

"Why would I drink coffee after 10pm? Unless I have something to stay awake for..."

"No, I'm saying after 10pm and in the morning, before you're appointment, you can't have anything to eat or drink except water or black coffee."

"No sugar?"

"No. No sugar."

This is becoming a painful conversation to eavesdrop on.  I'm actually wishing I was in the freezing exam room at this point. I'll just tune that out and focus on another conversation. 

"Mom, I'm fine."

"You are not fine, and even if you are, I still wish you'd make yourself an appointment, too. It never hurts just to get a check up.  Your sister goes to the doctor all the time. She looks healthier than you."

"She's pregnant." 

Next. 

"Get your hands off those dirty, germ covered toys right now. You don't know how often those get cleaned. If they even do get cleaned."

That from the mom who walked in with on her cell phone and let the door slam on the toddler behind her without even a glance or a sliver of concern. 

We have been listening to these conversations for the past half hour. Our appointment was 20 minutes ago. I know we'll end up sitting in the exam room for another 20 before the doctor even sees her. That part will be five minutes. 

-

I'm right. I'm always right. 

Although, the mother from the second conversation walked by while we were waiting:

"Is he coming back to take you home?"

"No, my daughter will pick me up."